Ah the New Year, that glorious time of year when the energies are alive with expectation and possibilities for the future. The time we set our New Year’s Resolutions… Or perhaps for you, it is a time of dread and uncertainty… who knows what the year will bring?
New Year, New You?
This time is just full of #newyearnewme posts on social media because, let’s not forget, those New year’s resolutions that are due now. But you see, I have a bit of an issue with new year’s resolutions… and this coming from an avid new year’s resolutioner – new year, new me right!? The problem is New year’s resolutions just don’t last. On average 80% of New year’s resolutions fail by the second week of February.
Here’s why I think it just doesn’t last (from my own failed experiences), you are either in the state mentioned above feeling alive with expectation and possibility and don’t get me wrong, this is a great state to be in. However, when in this state we tend to be a little unrealistic with our expectations of ourselves and the year ahead which translates to hectic, drastic goals and changes for ourselves and our lives. The second state we could be in is fear and uncertainty, maybe we’ve gotten a bit lazy in the week between Christmas and New year and we feel guilty. We feel we just have to make big goals and visions for ourselves to get us out of that state. The problem? We do not make the best choices and decisions for ourselves when we come from a place of guilt and fear.
New Year’s resolutions can also easily be thrown off the rails by outside circumstances. 2020 didn’t look anything like people expected due to Covid and Lockdown. Unrealistic resolutions (or perhaps any kind of resolution) couldn’t be saved when lockdown hit, and we found ourselves stuck at home unable to do many of the things we were so used to doing. Is there a way to set ourselves up for success no matter what happens this year?
What can we do instead of New Year’s Resolutions?
Goals are great and resolutions too, but the way we go about it should bring ease and joy into our lives, not make us feel like failures or that there is something in ourselves that drastically needs to be ‘fixed’. You are not broken; you do not need to be fixed.
Below is a list of gentle and uplifting things that you can do instead of New Year’s resolutions to make the year ahead flow smoothly, no matter what comes your way this year. Do all of them if you wish, or pick one that resonates with you.
1. Heart-Based goals
Goals, ideals, and visions for your future or your year ahead are important, but all decisions you make for yourself must be from the right place – your heart. Your heart has this amazing electromagnetic field around it that can sense all the things that are true and good for you. When you take the time to tune into yourself, into your heart wisdom, you can make the best decisions for yourself. Not just for the new year but your whole life.
Action Steps:
Breathe. Those deep, belly breaths that feel so good and immediately center and calms you? Do those. I like to place my hand over my heart and think of the goal or decision that I need to make and then just feel. Feel into yourself, does the goal/dream/vision feel good? Does it make you feel empowered and optimistic? If it does, you are on the right track! If it doesn’t? Explore it a bit more. Why doesn’t it feel good? What could you do instead? Sometimes the most miraculous answers come to you so don’t force it, just flow with your heart wisdom.
2. Decide that this is the year that you are going to Love Yourself.
This one is GOLD. Why? Because I am learning how magical it is to come from a place of love. In the past, all my resolutions were based on trying to fix myself and make me a better person, a battle with myself. I have to lose those 5kgs because if I do not, I am not good enough and therefore not worthy of love. If I eat some of that chocolate, I do not have any willpower, and therefore am I even worthy of love? It’s subtle and it’s sneaky, but it’s there. You are worthy of love no matter what and when we choose to rather say; “What can I do at this moment that is the most loving to myself and my wellbeing?” Big shifts happen within yourself and in all aspects of your life.
Actions Steps:
As I mentioned above, simply ask in any given situation what would be the most loving and kind thing for yourself? It could be loving to have some chocolate but is it loving to have the whole slab? Is it loving to yourself to say yes when you want to say no? I have to end this section off by recommending Kamil Ravikant’s book: Love yourself like your life depends on it. It’s a quick read with a lasting impact.
3. What is life asking of you?
We often go around telling life what WE want, we want that car, that house, that job. We want our children and our spouse to behave in a particular way. We want life to respond to us in a way that is sometimes unrealistic. But do we ever ask what life wants from us? I came across this question while reading the book by Vicktor Frankl: Man’s Search for Meaning. This book is about his experience in the concentration camps during World War 2. Life as they knew it got taken away from them, there were no resolutions to be made, no plans, and no hope for the future because no-one knew if they would ever have a normal life again. In a small way, we are in that same boat, not being able to make plans like we used to because of Covid and the restrictions and possible lockdowns. We just don’t know what the future will hold. So instead of us telling life what we want perhaps, it’s time that we ask It. Is it asking us to go within more, listen to that inner voice? Is it asking us to spend more time with our loved ones? Is it asking us to find new and creative ways to approach our work right now? Life has a lot to say if we just listen.
Action steps:
Simply ask. You can state the phrase: “What is life asking of me today?” and then listen for the answer. During meditation is a great time to do it, or simply ask as you start each day.
My favourite way is to journal about it. State your question at the top of the page and then start writing. Let your pen flow freely as you allow ideas and wisdom that you never knew was there to flow through you.
4. Heaven on Earth.
Can heaven on earth be realized? Quite possibly with your effort and vision in the right direction you can create heaven on earth and get the ball rolling. If we are all striving to create a heaven on earth, can it be anything else? Project Heaven on Earth is one of the most beautiful things I have found because it encourages a drastic shift in perspective using three simple questions. I find that people tend to obsess about their purpose in life but what if your purpose is just to take one step in the right direction every day?
Action Steps:
Project Heaven on Earth is based on 3 simple questions that you ask yourself:
1) Recall a time when you experienced Heaven on Earth. What was happening?
2) Imagine you have a magic wand and with it, you can create Heaven on Earth. What is Heaven on Earth for you?
3) What simple, easy, concrete step(s) will you take in the next 24 hours to make Heaven on Earth real?
There is a lot more info on their website and even a free e-course that I highly recommend. I am in no way affiliated – it was just too good not to share. Asking yourself this daily and taking small actionable steps towards your vision of Heaven on Earth won’t only transform your life but it will transform the lives of those around you.
Leave a comment below to let us know which of these steps resonates with you!
